Progress

"That boy was terrible. Made schooling difficult for his classmates. He's a bully who keeps pestering others all the time. None of the teachers could control him. I felt like spanking his parents for not teaching him manners..."

The first thing that came to my mind was - what if the boy has ADHD and has not gone for treatment?

Truth is, ADHD affects about 3 to 5% of children globally, and diagnosed 2 to 4 times more as frequently in boys as in girls. Its symptoms can be difficult to differentiate from other disorders, increasing the likelihood that the diagnosis of ADHD will be missed. Nevertheless, while symptoms may appear to be innocent and merely annoying nuisances to observers, "if left untreated, the persistent and pervasive effects of ADHD symptoms can insidiously and severely interfere with one's ability to get the most out of education, fulfill one's potential in the workplace, establish and maintain interpersonal relationships, and maintain a generally positive sense of self."

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"How is my son doing, Cikgu?"

"He is adjusting. He often start 'usik' others first - a way for him to befriend others from my observation. He seems to enjoy being in the class although he doesn't seem to enjoy writing and colouring much. Dia ni suka main-main, dan ajak kawan-kawan main"

Huzaifah still insists on me 'guiding' him in writing and colouring. "Guiding" as in putting my hand on his and 'guide' him to scribble along. His dual thumb does not make it any easier. So, sometimes he would use his left hand to write and colour. He still seems unsure whether to use his right or left hand to write so I just go along with whatever that strikes his fancy at any particular moment. Like I said, I'm not too worried about his 'academic prowess' - I didn't know my ABCs at 5 and I'd like to think that I turn out ok academically.

One thing that I know Huzaifah is really good at is using his body. Even as an infant - he was a fast learner in physical stuff. He had crawled up all the way to the fifth floor when most other babies his age were still afraid to climb even just one step up. At times, Huzaifah 'scared' us with his fast and fearless antics - like climbing up on tiny little open-edges of stairs, tip-toeing on edges of 2nd floor at his Embah's house in Kampung Tunku or gliding down the slanting wall in our house. But I've learned to trust his judgement on his own physical ability and let him 'exercise' all he wants.

I've learned that he would not indulge in so much 'heart pounding' activities if I don't pay much attention (or acted as if I don't pay much attention). Instead I would encourage him to let off some steam in the playground in the evening, or race with him all around the swimming pool when we stay in a hotel (like we sometimes do when I go for outstation assignments). Huge quantities of outdoor time seems to help - he knows that I pay the attention that he seeks and I approve of (as opposite to me never approving of him running around in the hotel lobby while waiting for us to get checked in)

Truth is - sometimes I still worry about Huzaifah having ADHD. When the teacher said that he like to prod others to play in the class, I worry if he is causing unnecessary distraction in the class and makes classroom an uneasy experience to other kids.

His kindie teacher assured me that it's still new - he has been in the class for only a little more than a month. "Kids are different. You may see mature 5 years old and some immature 6 years old. Honestly - some 5 years old have shown signs of readiness for school and some six years old still treat kindie as play school. Your son is still adjusting. That's all"

He seems to be more thoughtful lately. The other day when I went to Genting Highland, I brought Mira and the boys for a ride on the Genting Skyway cable car. While sucking on a lollypop, Huzaifah said, "Ooh, Ayah takde sini. Ayah kat rumah" A clear sign that he missed his dad and wished that his Dad was with us on the cable car.

That is progress.

Huzaifah normally has a difficult time going to sleep, even when he was an infant. Since started going for kindie, I have to wake him up pretty early so now he has started to hit the sack far earlier than he used to (around 11.30 p.m. as opposed to 2.00 a.m.) He naps in the afternoon too, so he would be well rested before going out to the playground in the evening. It is a lot more easier to ask him to go to sleep because "esok nak pergi sekolah" and he loves going to kindie.

That is progress.

Last night - he took out a working sheet that he brought back from kindie. He asked me what was written, followed after me "Da, dadu. Fa, paku. La, labu". And then he went on to colour the pictures. On his own. With no 'guiding' from me. At all.

That is progress.

Alhamdulillah.